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Oh My Goodness - The First Date!!

Lets not make any bones about it the first date after meeting someone online is always a difficult thing! Feeling nervous. Good because that is perfectly normal. Feeling excitied. You should be, this could be the start of something great!

Where to go? We think that lunchtimes at the weekends or straight after work/college during the week are the best times for a first date. A quick drink somewhere close by will mean that you have the chance to learn a little more from your date and they can learn a little more about you.

Decide to eat after you have met. Getting gravy stains down your shirt can be off-putting on the first date so see how you go with regard to food. Also meals tend to be longish affairs and if things are not going well it is more difficult to leave a meal that it is a quick drink.

Keep it simple. Does anyone really want to go Salsa Dancing or Sky Diving on a first date? Good first dates usually lead into fantastic second dates so do not try to pack everything into your first meeting.

Be yourself on the first date and things will be fine. Feeling nervous, then say so. You can bet your bottom dollar that your date is feeling the same and it will break the ice. Talk a little about yourself, what you enjoy doing and then listen to what your date has to say. Communication as your mother keeps telling you is a two way thing! Take time to understand what your date has to say for themselves and if you are unsure about what they have said, ask them to explain. People love to talk about themselves in general so make sure that you allow them to speak whilst having time to put in your ten pence worth.

It all goes well, fantastic. If not take the following lesson to heart. If everyone met their true love on the first date that they ever went on, we would all be married at sixteen and this web site would be about raising babies. Dating is about meeting people having fun and moving on if that particualr person isn't right for you. Expect some average dates and even some poor ones.

Expect to meet people that you fancy but who ask not to see you again. It's difficult I know but not everyone is going to fancy you as much as you fancy them. People are different and that is a great thing. It can also be a bit of a downer when you get yourself all excited for a date and it doesn't go as well as planned. Don't lose heart. Put it down to experience and if you have followed our advice and only arranaged to meet for a quick drink close by, then what have you lost, an hour or two and the cost of a drink. For every frog there is a prince. Believe us.

To keep the magic alive we would recommend limiting your the number of first dates that you go on each week. Dating can be exhausting and you can quickly become jaded. Save yourself so someone special rather than meeting up with every Tom, Dick or Harriet!

Making That First Meeting A Safe One
Dating people you meet on the internet is as safe as dating people you meet at work, in the pub or at a club. We all need to look after ourselves so please just bear the following tips in mind and stay safe when meeting someone new. This applies to men as well as women!

• When you make the choice to meet someone off-line, always tell someone where you are going and when you will return.
• Leave your date's name and telephone number with someone that you can trust.
• Bring your mobile phone with emergency numbers stored in it.
• Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home instead make your own way to the date.
• Meet in a public place at a time when many people are present, and when the date is over, leave on your own as well.
• Make sure that you car is nearby or that your route home on public transport is well timetabled and reliable.
• If you’re nervous, double date with friends to take some of the pressure off. A good adte will understand.
• Avoid dates that involve being away from other people like walks in the countryside, bike rides or drives to remote areas for the first few dates at least. If you decide to move to another location, take your own car or grab a taxi.
• When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and say goodbye and go home alone. On the first date at least.

Have A Back-Up Plan
If things are not going well, and sometimes they will not, have a back-up plan. Call some-one you trust and get them to come and collect you or get them to call you so that you have an excuse to leave. If things have gone wrong on the date and you are uncomfortable with your date let someone knwo like the restaurent maanger, the barman, a fellow dinner or even call the police .It's always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behaviour. Your safety is much more important than one person's opinion of you. There are lots of online services which give you a safe and secure environment to dating online. While liars, cheaters and imposters certainly play their craft on the Web, you'll also find them in nightclubs, among the membership ranks of off-line dating services, at cocktail parties, and occasionally sitting across from you at your local café. Regardless of where, or how, you meet someone, dating is never a risk-free activity. A little caution will reduce your risk in these matters of the heart.

Drinking
You’ll probably be nervous before a first date. Though a few drinks could help loosen you up, don’t overdo it. You’ll need to have a clear head if things don't go to plan. Never leave your drink unattended or drink anything that has an unusual taste. And being a drunken mess is not a great way to impress a new boyfriend or girlfriend.

Ending the Date
If you don't wish to see your date again, be honest and tell them firmly in a considerate way.

Remember you are in control. It is your responsibility who you contact and who you don't. Don't put yourself at risk and trust your instincts. However, If you continue to receive messages after you say "no" to further contact, you should block that member.

If you are worried about safety and wish to find out more contact your local police station or The Suzy Lamplugh Trust.