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Safety Tips For Online Dating in the UK!

Online dating in the UK is for the vast majority of people a fun and convenient way of meeting people.

However as with anything in life, online dating has the potential to attract the small minority of people in society who seek to abuse the trust of others for their own gain.

The safety tips below are not intended to cause alarm or to scare you off from meeting someone online but instead are a reminder that no matter where you meet Mr or Ms Right, in the pub on a Friday night at a speed dating event or on an online dating site, it pays to bear the following safety tips in mind.

Remember the key is to have fun and to stay safe!!

Take It Easy At The Start Of Your Online Dating Adventure
When you first start dating online you will be overwhelmed by the number of people who attempt to contact you. It does the ego a power of good to have so many seemingly attractive and interesting people vying for your atention. For a little while you will feel like Charlie after he was given the keys to the chocolate factory. The temptation will be to respond to everyone and anyone who contacts you, but take your time and start slow.

You may be new to online dating sites but some of those contacting you may not. Take tiem to assess and judge each person carefully. Take your time, learn about all the features that your chosen site has to offer, read all of your messages and check out those who initally appeal. Then start slowly talking to those who you want to talk to and politely respond to those in whom you have no interest.

Keep That Air of Mystic And Remain Anoynomous
People will contact you from the first moment that you place your profile on an online dating web site. They after all are there like you to meet new people and will be curious about you. However your personal details are the most precious things that you process and you should guard them closely. Never include your last name, email address, personal Web site address, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your profile or in the communications that you exchange with anyone else.

The internet is a powerful tool and it is easy to learn huge amounts about someone with only an email address or a place of work. Put your own name into google and see what details are available about yourself or where you work. So please rememeber to ensure that your email signature file is turned off, or does not include identifying information, when corresponding with a member via your own email. If someone is a pest or makes you feel uncomfortable simply stop comunicating with them. This is easy if you have not revealed too much about yourself and have remained an alluring enigma.

Take your time in getting to know someone before you reveal too much. After all if they are genuine and the sort of person you would like to meet they will be sensitive to the fact that you feel more comfortable guarding your personal details until you, and you alone, feel that the time is right to share more about yourself. There is no need to disclose your external email address. You can continue to send and receive emails via the onsite email system.

Trust your Instincts
This one is simple - If it doesn't feel right, step back and move away. You will know when something is wrong or is simply too good to be true. Trust your judgement each and everytime, listen to what your innner voice is telling you and you should have no problems. Well apart from what to wear.

Move Along At Your Pace
Rememeber take things at your pace and only move onto the next stage of your budding friendship/relationship as and when you and you alone are ready. Don’t let the other person push you to phone or meet if you’re not ready. If they’re eventually going to make a good partner, they’ll understand and wait. If someone asks for your phone number, politely refuse. If you think you might eventually want to phone them, ask for their number and call when you’re ready. Genuine and honest peoeple will understand why you are being weary, dishonest and false people will have the problem.

See A Photo
A picture paints a thousand words, as the saying goes, so before you meet up with someone insist on seeing at least one recent photo. This will not only help you make more informed choices about your new aquaintance but will also mean that you do not have the embarssement of introducing yourself to the wrong person on your first date. Digital cameras are now two to a penny so if your prospective date cannot post on the online dating website or email you a decent recent photograph ask yourself why and be a little suspecious. If you don't have one, ask your friends or family.

Talk On The Telephone
This is prehaps the most valuable means of establishing whether you and a potential date are actually going to hit it off and whether they are who they say they are. If you cannot find anything to talk about on the phone how are you going to fare on a date? A huge amount can be gleamed from a couple of pre-date phone calls. But as always be careful not to give out your personal phone number to a stranger. Mask your phone number (in the UK for example you can dail 141 to mask your number but remember that this is not a fool proof means of masking your number), use a mobile phone or even call from a public phone at first before you feel comfortable with giving out your personal phone number.

Watch Out For Red Flags.
The following points are specific clues that something may be amiss with your new online acquintance and as such you should ask yourself if they really are the sort of person that you would be comfortable meeting with. Again the list is not complete and only you will know when something is wrong but if it is, listen to your inner voice, trust your instinct and perhaps consider politely discontinuing this particular relationship.

• Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc.
• Gets mad when you ask or quickly ends the conversation or answers questions with questions.
• Refuses to speak to you over the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
• Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.
• Appears in person to be significantly different from his or her online persona.
• Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or family members.

Making That First Meeting A Safe One
When you make the choice to meet offline, always tell someone where you are going and when you will return. Leave your date's name and telephone number with someone that you can trust. Bring your mobile phone with emergency numbers stored in it. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home instead make your own way to the date. Meet in a public place at a time when many people are present, and when the date is over, leave on your own as well. Make sure that you car is nearby or that your route home on public transport is well timetabled and reliable. A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other people will be present is often a fine choice or how about meeting for lunch on a weekend when there will be plenty of people around and you do not have to worry about it getting dark outside. If you’re nervous, double date with friends to take some of the pressure off. Avoid dates that involve being away from other people like walks in the countryside, bike rides or drives to remote areas for the first few dates at least. If you decide to move to another location, take your own car or grab a taxi. When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and say goodbye. Bring your car, enough money for cab fare or arrange for a friend to pick you up when you call.

Have A Back-Up Plan
If things are not going well, and sometimes they will not, have a back-up plan. Call someone you trust and get them to come and collect you or get them to call you so that you have an excuse to leave. If things have gone wrong on the date and you are uncomfortable with your date let someone know like the restaurent manager, the barman, a fellow dinner or even call the police .Its always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behavior. Your safety is much more important than one person's opinion of you. There are lots of online services which give you a safe and secure environment to dating online. While liars, cheaters and imposters certainly play their craft on the Web, you'll also find them in nightclubs, among the membership ranks of off-line dating services, at cocktail parties, and occasionally sitting across from you at your local café. Regardless of where, or how, you meet someone, dating is never a risk-free activity. A little caution will reduce your risk in these matters of the heart.

Drinking
You’ll probably be nervous before a first date. Though a few drinks could help loosen you up, don’t overdo it. You’ll need to have a clear head if things don't go to plan. Never leave your drink unattended or drink anything that has an unusual taste. And being a drunken mess is not a great way to impress a new boyfriend or girlfriend.

Ending the Date
If you don't wish to see your date again, be honest and tell them firmly in a considerate way.

Remember you are in control. It is your responsibility who you contact and who you don't. Don't put yourself at risk and trust your instincts. However, If you continue to receive messages after you say "no" to further contact, you should block that member.

If you are worried about safety and wish to find out more contact your local police station or The Suzy Lamplugh Trust.